Since I launched this site my phone rang 63 times.

I only answered 4 calls.

Would you like to know why?

When you rang I was:

Inflicting exquisite torture and sensory deprivation

Commuting

Having my cock sucked

In meetings

Taking a Martial arts classes and pumping iron

In the shower shaving my cunt

Switching in a ” the loser takes it” wrestling match

Rowing a boat on the river

With my fist up a tight wet hole

Spitting on and bitch slapping a loveable swine

Being tied up and spanked

Attending lectures

Having executive lunches and exquisite dinners

Dressing up and stripping down a greedy slut

At the V& A “Shoes: Pleasure and Pain” exhibition

Caning a very naughty adult school boy

Watching Patty Smith

Pinning down and face sitting on a hansom athlete

On a roller coaster

Pissing in ready mouths

Reading China Mieville

Riding a human pony

Dancing under the stars

Winning an identity annihilation and anal invasion marathon

Sound asleep.

I realise you are eager. And am certain that some callers were disappointed and disheartened.

This is why I explicitly asked you to first communicate in writing.

No doubt I would thoroughly enjoy meeting some of you mysterious callers. So, kindly follow instructions and text or email to arrange a time to talk.

Eris